I’m starting this journal after being fired from my new job after two weeks. I became arrogant. And condescending because I was believing that I was better than everyone else, believing their complements. I thought i was so right that i was invincible. Or at least, I sent the emails to the client without considering that I was NOT invincible. Or even considering that they were out of line. It was a massive lapse in judgment. Unemployed I’m depressed and I act out. Employed I’m manic and all-powerful and I act out. I’m shit or I’m king. I can’t live with this split. I have to find the normal middle ground where I am just human. Where I make mistakes, and I’m OK with that; where I have good ideas and it doesn’t make me think I’m a god.

I’m starting this journal after being fired from my new job after two weeks. I became arrogant. And condescending because I was believing that I was better than everyone else, believing their complements. I thought i was so right that i was invincible. Or at least, I sent the emails to the client without considering that I was NOT invincible. Or even considering that they were out of line. It was a massive lapse in judgment.

Unemployed I’m depressed and I act out. Employed I’m manic and all-powerful and I act out.

I’m shit or I’m king.

I can’t live with this split. I have to find the normal middle ground where I am just human. Where I make mistakes, and I’m OK with that; where I have good ideas and it doesn’t make me think I’m a god.